I just recently had my bridal shower thrown by my sister, my bridesmaids and help form my mom. It was a lovely day full of love and support from my family and friends.
I cant help but feel loved. I really enjoyed the time spent home. Its funny how when you move away from home you find your thoughts always grounding you back to a place and time and the stillness of where you were and where you are now are deeply contrasted.
Don't get me wrong I will always feel like where I grew up will forever stamp a place inside of me because I feel it has shaped who I am in a lot of ways and I think we always feel connected to that place.
Things felt a little different but to feel different in a familiar place is strange. Home looks the same, smells the same, some reside there and some are now gone but I felt different now being away for a while.
I now know that I will feel home sick as my heart is divided into two spaces. One being my home where my family and friends reside and the new home I have made with my fiancé.
I've seen the movie Garden State quite a few times and there was a dialogue between the characters Andrew and Sam. I finally know what they mean now.
Andrew Largeman: You know that point in your life when you realize the house you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of a sudden even though you have some place where you put your shit, that idea of home is gone.
Andrew Largeman: You'll see one day when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's gone. You feel like you can never get it back. It's like you feel homesick for a place that doesn't even exist. Maybe it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't ever have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I don't know, but I miss the idea of it, you know. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people that miss the same imaginary place.
There is one thing that I do know to be true as I embark to create a new home in my future is that feeling of home purely exists in the people you invest your time and patience to.
No matter how much time and space elapses you wish and hope the best for people who come in and out of your life and the connections you make will always be inside of you.
Maybe with that you carry Home with you.
This dress is from eShakti.
I felt that this dress fit perfect for my realization of home. There are two birds free as the other birds reside on their perched wire and they are there to keep these free birds grounded. Symbolic is what I do sometimes so here it is in this post.
eShakti is great because you can custom make your dresses and tailor them perfectly to your fit and even alter the design.
I felt really beautiful in this dress but really it felt more beautiful to take in my short time and just appreciate what I do have in the aspects of all facets in my life. I feel extremely lucky.
Outfit details:
Dress: eShakti / (older)
Shoes: Clarks
Do you miss home?-Fairfawn
